Trusting

Such a significant word is trust and I put my trust in the Lord.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

During trials in life it is so easy to ask "why did He allow it".  My belief is that God doesn't necessarily allow the struggles of life we have, however, He takes those struggles and brings good out of it.  When we live a life that is status quo we stay in our comfort zone but He doesn't plan for us to stay in our comfort zone.  He has so many things planned for us and when we face the struggles and trials of life with trust in Him, our Lord can do so much with us.  He can mold us into the people he created us to be from day one.

I have been asked many times if I have grieved not having children biologically.  I will honestly say that I have not because I don't feel that it was something to grieve, I have no loss but wonderful gifts.  He knew the day he created me that I would love all children.  I can clearly remember the day in my life that I learned about adoption, I can remember the conversation I had with my mom when we were working in the garden telling her about how cool it was that the neighbor's aunt (she was the same age as the neighbor kids) was adopted and how I was going to adopt when I grew up.  Many years later we realized we were not meant to have biological children but that He had planned for us to adopt.  My heart is so full knowing that our Lord planned that as my gift.  He put it in my heart and let it grow and many years later it bloomed and now I have the two most wonderful children and will soon be adding a third blessing.

When I came home from China with E I didn't know if our family was complete.  Two children were really more than two children.  We had a lot of adjusting to do and a new routine to establish.  We started sponsoring Ginger at Philip Hayden when we were matched with E.  We watched her grow in pictures, heal after her surgeries and then one day I had this feeling that she was meant to be a part of our family.  That feeling became all consuming and I shared it with my husband.  We then began the journey to our third child, believing her to be that child that was meant to be a part of us.  Then it came to be that she was not the child He planned for us.  At first the pain was there, for her I grieved, I had already envisioned our life with her.  As time has gone by and a month has passed I know deep in my heart that He gave me love for her so that we would be ready for the little one that He planned for us.  Had we not loved Ginger we would not have started this third adoption and with all the changes in IA we really needed to get started so we could be ready.  And here we are now, waiting for Him to reveal our daughter to us.  We are ready and waiting for his timing, it will be perfect, she will be perfect!

I have become such a believer that He only plans good for us.  Trying times will come and go but it is His plan that will persevere.  As we are human we wish that would could know more about the journey ahead so we could prepare for it but if we are prepared how can He teach and how can we grow.  Is it really better to know what lies ahead?  Would we avoid the journey if we new what it held?  My guess is that we wouldn't so I am choosing to lean into Jesus, trust Him to guide the way and that he will grow us to be better people and better followers through the journey.

On a side note I promise that I will soon post some updated pictures of M and E.  We have been a busy family this past month and have some great pictures to share.  Please keep us in your prayers as we prepare our hearts to be open to His plan with the release of the next shared list.  We may know who our little one is in the near future.